“Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.”

Erica Jong 

On Today’s Monday Motivation, Corry discusses FREEDOM FROM BLAME and shares her experience with this concept personally and professionally. Corry gives insight into the differences between the victim mentality, the persecutor mentality, and the rescuer mentality into an ownership and awareness mentality, leading us to freedom from blame. 

Corry Mendoza is a highly sought-after speaker, coach, and author, influencing professionals to get real, work less, and live more balanced lives. Find her at www.choosevolition.com.

Watch her talk on YouTube or listen on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

The weight of blame is much heavier than the weight of responsibility. When we experience emotions of blame, does it matter if they are justified or not? To answer that question, let’s take a deeper look at what blame is, how it shows up, and what it does to us. 

Blame is basically pointing the finger at whom or what is at fault for a result or an outcome. Blame removes responsibility from us and puts it onto another person or thing, leaving us powerless. Blame can show up simple in everyday situations such as, “Who moved my keys?” And in extremely complex and sensitive situations, “Whose fault was the divorce?” 

Blame can sound like this: “It’s my friend’s fault I missed the plane. I’m late because my son couldn’t find his jacket. It’s the economy’s fault that I lost my house. That student misbehaves because of his parents. My child got into drugs because of his friends.” Does it really matter if any of those statements are true or false? 

Does it really matter who or what is at fault? The time, energy, and emotions spent blaming others delay personal improvement and compromise the ability to move forward. 

How does blame impact our lives? Because blame puts us in a place of being mistreated, it puts us into the role of a victim, powerless, waiting and hoping for someone or something to bring us the needed change. Blame stifles our resourcefulness and creativity, and blame cuts off our ability to take action. Thoughts of blame create a variety of negative emotions: feelings of offense, upset, frustration, betrayal, entitlement, jealousy, envy, anger, resentment, stress, distrust, fear, confusion, hurt, sadness, all of which dis-empower us to move forward towards growth and improvement. 

So, how do we succeed in life, free from blame? OUR MINDSET. It all starts with our thoughts. Blame comes from a mindset void of taking responsibility. The way to overcome blame is by simply taking responsibility. Responding to situations with, “What can I do to improve this? What will it take to resolve this situation?” Build up your level of responsibility through your thoughts and inner dialogue. Make it a habit to respond to situations with, “What can I do? What can be done to move forward? Who would be willing to work with me to overcome this?” Do you hear how these thoughts of empowerment will get you into action? They are all thoughts free of who is at fault. They are thoughts that get you on with it. 

I encourage you today to listen to your thoughts about any situation. Are these thoughts putting fault on another, or are they thoughts producing solutions? A strong positive mindset is rich in responsibility, and it produces positive energy through curiosity, growth, creativity, humility, joy, understanding, abundance, peace, and prosperity. Choose responsibility, and you will gain prosperity.