Being kind

What is kindness? It’s the right thing to do. For most of my life, I have felt very uncomfortable and have refrained from saying things like, “This is right” or “This is wrong.”

I have avoided placing my vote on just about any controversial topic, where the question of right or wrong come into play. I have done it for many reasons.

One reason is because I have experienced and witnessed the division that occurs when one is judgmental, saying, “You are wrong.”

Another reason is because I have experienced and witnessed the limitations and imprisonment that is created from a place of naming things right or wrong. Choice is removed from the equation. Creativity is no longer an option. People end up being boxed into being good or bad. You basically only have two options- win or you lose, period.

But what I have realized in the last few years, through a slow and gradual mindset transformation, is that I had been throwing the baby out with the bath water. I had made the ability to have an opinion about right or wrong- wrong. By believing that people can only create division through taking a stance on what is right or wrong, I had limited myself from creating positive change and I suffocated my freedom of choice to hold an opinion about what is right. My messages were nice and acceptable, but also quite diluted.

Through my new sense of empowerment and inner authority, I have opened up a whole new space for my inner volition, giving me the freedom to speak up about the things I hold true, what is right and what is wrong. I have also found an effective way to to have the conversations about what is right and what is wrong, from a place that creates positive change, NOT division.

One of the topics that I am extremely passionate about is that being kind is the right thing to do. Being unkind is wrong.

Being unkind produces nothing good. Being kind creates all that we need and all that we desire- healing, unity, reconciliation, growth, forgiveness, POSITIVE CHANGE. Being kind allows for respect, learning, listening, love, humility, courage, boldness, and meekness.

This is my truth. This is what I believe. This is what I see as right.

But what exactly is kindness?

My second husband, Stephen, began studying Buddhism a few years ago and I am so grateful for the teachings that he shared with me. One of the teachings is about right speech about how our words should serve one of two purposes:

  1. They should be kind
  2. They should be useful

I love this distinction because, often times, when we start talking about being kind, we somehow collapse being kind with being a pushover or a doormat. The truth is, sometimes our words are useful, but don’t feel very kind. They create discomfort in another person, especially when we are speaking words to create behavior correction.

I wanted to make that distinction as I express my conviction about how BEING KIND IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

So, I invite you this week, think about this topic of kindness. Is it the right thing to do at all times? And what does kindness really mean?

Watch your words and actions this week and strive to create positive change through kindness. You can ask yourself these questions:

  • Is this kind?
  • Is this useful?
  • Am I creating division or am I creating connection?
  • Are my intentions to make someone wrong or to create positive change?

Let’s all look for ways we can be kind to others today and let’s do it because being kind is THE RIGHT THING TO DO. And remember, being kind doesn’t always feel warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it creates discomfort, but the discomfort is created for the sake something good, to create positive change.

With Love and Volition,