The last couple of weeks we’ve talked about the process of Getting Stuck. It happens slowly then suddenly. We’ve all been there, frustrated, in resistance, avoidance, and tolerance. We don’t like it, definitely don’t prefer it, and want to get out of it. Let’s face it, being stuck at work, at home, in relationships, or in life is no fun. It robs us of our confidence and ultimately of our potential.
Getting Unstuck is the answer, but how do we do it? Well, last week we took a look and discovered that getting unstuck happens slowly and gradually, one thought at a time. It begins with the courageous decision to set a goal for positive change and is followed by taking that first step of action towards change. Walking the long path of getting unstuck is always led with our thoughts, it takes time and dedication. We must replace our old, negative thoughts that got and kept us stuck with new, positive and empowering thoughts that will guide us to freedom. It’s not a quick process, so stay committed to walking it out. Stop and celebrate the gradual and small victories on the way.
Once we get unstuck, we think, “I will never get stuck like that again!” This intention is all good, but how do we walk it out? How do we stay unstuck? How do we prevent getting stuck all together?
Well, since getting stuck happens slowly, then suddenly, we have plenty of opportunity to prevent getting stuck on the onset. Remember it happens one thought at a time. We can recognize when we are on the road to getting stuck, through the quality or the lack of quality in our thoughts. Stuck thoughts are weeds. Unstuck thoughts are seeds. Whatever we water will grow. We must uproot the negative weeds and water the positive seeds!
And this is how staying unstuck happens- intentionally, not accidentally.
I have a simple model to help us stay intentional and stay unstuck. I have used this model in several ways and just recently discovered how powerful it is in helping me stay unstuck. Check it out: Engagement Through the Power of Appreciation
Basically, when we get stuck we are disengaged. We feel powerless and therefore just go through the motions passively, too discouraged to make improvements.
Staying unstuck and preventing getting stuck is all about living and working engaged, one thought at a time. As you can see from the model, anything below the line would be how we get or stay stuck. Thoughts of repulsion (resistance/resentment) avoidance, and tolerance are thoughts that get us or keep us stuck. Here are some examples:
Repulsion- “This is not right! It shouldn’t be this way! I can’t stand this/him/her! I hate this!”
Avoidance- “I don’t have time for this. I’ll deal with this later. This will go away on its own. Time heals all wounds.”
Tolerance- “It’s not that bad. I don’t mind this anymore. This just is the way it is. I don’t like it, but I guess I can live with it. This is just how I am.”
When we have and engage in any of those type of thoughts below the line, we are on the road to getting stuck or staying stuck. If we want to stay unstuck, we must uproot those thoughts and replace with positive thoughts of acceptance and appreciation. Here are some examples:
Acceptance- “I don’t like this, but I understand how this came to be. I’m not okay with how that person is behaving, but I can understand what it must be like in their shoes. This is really hard, but I can and will face it. These are the facts and I can use them to create something new.”
Acceptance helps us use the manure in our lives to create positive change. Manure stinks. It’s waste, but if we allow the repulsion of the stench cause us to throw it out, we miss out on the nutrients it gives into growing a healthy garden. Acceptance is all about embracing the things outside of our control and weaving them into a beautiful masterpiece. When we do that, we can move into appreciation.
Appreciation- “Though this is hard, I am finding benefits in this. Though I don’t agree with that other person, I see value in their role in my life. Though it is hard to accept this limit, I appreciate how it has strengthened me.”
Appreciation takes that which once repulsed us, into new levels of growth and opportunity. When we commit to uprooting negative thoughts and replacing them with positive thoughts of acceptance and appreciation, we won’t get stuck. We can’t get stuck. We stay unstuck! This is called engagement.
When we are unstuck, we are engaged in our lives, at work and at home. We live with passion, intention, courage, and conviction. We are proactive, not reactive. Our confidence grows and our potential unfolds. It doesn’t happen on accident. It happens intentionally and the effort is worth it!
So, where are you right now? Whether you are currently stuck or unstuck you can thrive in engagement. Use this model and keep close watch on your thoughts. Uproot the weeds and water the good seeds! Make this a great week and an amazing month, one thought at a time!
With Love and Volition,