Sometimes we’ve got to shut off our mind to tell what’s in our heart. The other day I got a text from a friend. It was a nice text – encouraging, challenging, and caring but something about the text put me into a state of confusion. I began overthinking my choices and doubting myself. I shared my vexation with my boyfriend, Rusty, and he asked, “Do you want my advice?”
Watch out for this question when you are in confusion. It is interference from what we really need. When we are in confusion, we may want advice but what we NEED is clarity. The solution lies is clarity, not advice. Advice is great with the right timing, but in the midst of confusion it is not the time.
Though I deeply value and respect Rusty’s advice, thank God I had the awareness to resist it. I recognized the fact that I was in confusion and since I understand the impact of confusion, I was able to resist.
Confusion puts us in our heads and disconnects us from our hearts. The key problem with this is that truth rests in the heart. It takes courage to walk in our truth and walk in our conviction, which is why we must stay connected to our heart. Hence the saying, “Don’t lose heart.” The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.”
Have you ever noticed that when doubt creeps in, it goes for the mind first, not the heart? Doubt leads to confusion, and confusion leads to discouragement. Courage leaves and we often end up compromising our truth.
How we show up for others when they are in a moment of fear, doubt, or confusion is critical to their success and when I respectfully declined Rusty’s offer for advice, he showed up like the champ that I needed, asking, “Well, what do you think?”
“What do you think?” is a powerful question that sends a powerful message. It says, “I believe in you. You have the insight. You have the wisdom. You have the truth. Don’t doubt yourself. Do not cave into confusion.” In fact, that is what all powerful questions do for us.
So, what is a powerful question?
A powerful question is a provocative inquiry that interrupts evasion and confusion. Asking powerful questions invites others to clarity, action, and discovery. That is exactly what someone needs with they are in fear, doubt, or confusion. That was exactly what I needed. Powerful questions engineer epiphanies in others, helping them come up with their own answers and solutions, ultimately building their confidence and reinforcing their conviction.
That one powerful question that Rusty asked, woke me up and helped me find my clarity by reconnecting me to my truth. I had my epiphany and was re-energized in my conviction. I became clear again and my mind settled down. With that clarity, my courage came back and I knew what needed to be done.
I learned an important truth in that short conversation. Confusion starts in the mind, confidence lives in the heart, and sometimes it takes just one powerful question to pull us up, out of the confusion, and into our confidence.
We can all use powerful questions to help others and ourselves in times of confusion. Asking powerful questions is a skill we can all develop. I’m attaching some more information on Powerful Questions for you to practice with this week.
Maybe you know someone now who is in confusion, doubting him or herself, and maybe even asking you for advice. Practice this tool of asking Powerful Questions and watch how it will build others up. You can help raise their clarity and confidence. Share it with your boss, co-workers, family, and friends – I’d love to hear how it goes.
Let’s all have an amazing week practicing this new skill. Let’s remember, don’t lose heart, but rather find it through asking powerful questions.
With Love and Volition,