“A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.” ~John Burroughs The weight of blame is much heavier than the weight of responsibility. When we experience emotions of blame does it matter if they are justified or not? To answer that question, let’s take a deeper look at what blame is, how it shows up, and what it does to us.
Blame is basically pointing the finger at whom or what is at fault hoping for a desired outcome. Blame removes responsibility from us and puts it onto another person or thing, leaving us powerless. Blame can show up in simple, everyday situations such as, “Who moved my keys?” all the way to extremely complex and sensitive situations, such as divorce. Blame can sound like this: “It’s my friend’s fault that I missed the plane. I’m late because my son couldn’t find his jacket. It’s the economy’s fault that I lost my house. That student misbehaves because of his parents. My child got into drugs because of his friends.”
Does it really matter if any of those statements are true or false?
Does it really matter who or what is at fault? The time, energy, and emotions spent on blaming others only delays personal improvement and compromises the ability to move forward.
How does blame impact our lives? Because blame puts us in a place of being mistreated, it puts us into the role of a victim; powerless, waiting and hoping for someone or something to bring us the needed change. Blame stifles our resourcefulness and creativity. Blame cuts off our ability to take action. Thoughts of blame create a variety of negative emotions…feelings of offense, upset, frustration, betrayal, entitlement, jealousy, envy, anger, resentment, stress, distrust, fear, confusion, hurt, sadness…all of which dis-empower us to move forward towards growth and improvement.
So, how do we succeed in life, free from blame? OUR MINDSET. It all starts with our thoughts. Blame comes from a weak mindset that is void of taking responsibility. The way to overcome blame is by simply taking responsibility. Build up your level of responsibility through your thoughts; through your inner dialogue. Make it a habit to respond to situations with, “What can I do to improve this? What can be done to move forward? Who would be willing to work with me overcome this?” Do you hear how these are all thoughts of empowerment that will get you into action? They are all thoughts free of who is at fault. They are thoughts that get you on with it.
I encourage you today to listen to the thoughts you are having around any situation. Are they thoughts putting fault on another or are they thoughts producing solutions? A strong positive mind set, is rich in responsibility and it produces positive energy through curiosity, growth, creativity, humility, joy, understanding, abundance, peace, and prosperity.
Make this week your best week yet!
By Corry Ann March