This past Saturday we celebrated my Tata’s 89th birthday, and it was a day I will never forget. In so many moments I felt time stand still. Contentment was contagious and I saw peace and joy on everyone’s faces.

The day was perfect. It wasn’t even bittersweet.

We use “bittersweet” to describe so many special occasions, especially as we get older and experience loss. I imagine you know what I am talking about. We may experience it at a wedding, so happy for the bride and groom, then the bittersweet emotion rises up, as we recall a past event. We may experience it on a graduation day. Though we are happy for the the child’s success and accomplishment, wishes rise up for certain things to have been a little different.

Experiencing bittersweet moments is good, and it is certainly much better than experiencing moments of regret. It is in those bittersweet moments that we can enjoy what we have, while acknowledging and accepting what is missing. But there is much more, beyond the bittersweet, and I learned and experienced it, this last Saturday.

My Tata was sitting back, enjoying the celebration; this was already a few hours into the party. He leaned over to me and said, “One day you will have all of this.”

I looked around. The kids were all playing with some laughter, cries, and complaints. My brothers were conversing. My mom and Nana were playing with Gavin, just five months old and the newest member of the family. Gavin’s loving parents, Sara and Chris were sitting back watching with smiles. My two sisters in law were setting up the birthday cake.

This was one of those moments where time stood still. So much was said in those eight words, “One day you will have all of this.”

I looked back at my Tata and our eyes locked and I received his message. It was a message about what really matters. He and my Nana are not financially wealthy. In fact, they live off of their social security income, which affords them low-income housing, in a senior community. One could have thought, from the way he said, “One day you will have all of this,” that he was pointing financial riches or your typical earthly successes, but he wasn’t talking about any of that. He was talking about the wealth and success of having a loving family, and that is truthfully, all that really matters.

In addition to the message about what really matters, those words were also a blessing. He spoke a blessing over me and I did not take it lightly. I am his oldest granddaughter and I realize that he won’t be around forever. His validation that, yes, one day I would have all of this meant so much to me. Those words went strait to my heart and I knew God was speaking through him, reassuring me that I would have my heart’s desire.

Another undeniable message was about contentment. I don’t think he was intentionally seeking to instill that message in me, but his perspective spoke it. I mentioned earlier that bittersweet is good because it is better than regret, but there is more, beyond the bittersweet, and that much more is contentment.

Contentement is finding the perfection in the acceptance of the imperfection. Contentment is fully enjoying and appreciating what we have, without giving attention to what we do not. My Tata could have certainly experienced the day as bittersweet, considering the facts- the losses, who was missing, and why they were missing, but he didn’t. He was beyond that. He was fully in contentment, not even bittersweet.

On our drive home continued to think about his happiness, his gratitude, his contentment, and I reflected on my Tata’s life, all that he and my Nana have endured in their sixty-eight years of marriage. In addition to the normal struggles in life, they have also overcame so many big losses:

• Legal and substance abuse struggles with their oldest son, from a very young age
• Their first born grandchild being adopted and raised away from the family, never to carry our family name
• Loss of their entire retirement, just a few years in, never to be regained
• Loss of their youngest son from a preventable death, a loss that no parent should have to endure

I actually made a list of all the things my Tata could have used to explain him having a bittersweet birthday and the list was long. I was so inspired and in such awe at his level of contentment, despite his losses and despite his struggles, and I resolved that if I am going to “have all of this” like he told me I would, I must make contentment my way of life.